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Why a bike is better than a woman

Tristania's picture

By Tristania - Posted on 13 December 2013

So recently, I engaged in a discussion with a friend that indicated that he would have to spend some time with his girlfriend in the coming days as I needed to get out on my bike after a long study period. This resulted in the conversation inevitably turned to "You should get a girlfriend, mate." Seeing as a good portion of other 20yos are with girls, it was worth a good session to consider whether I should give up cycling and find one, but I discovered 28 reasons why this shouldn't be the case. Enjoy (and don't take it too seriously)!

1. You can take any bike you choose without relying on it saying “yes.”
2. If the bike that you like is no longer available when you're ready to buy, you can order in an identical model in two weeks.
3. You can go anywhere you want your bike.
4. When your bike whines, something is always genuinely wrong and usually you can fix the problem with logical analysis.
5. Your bike doesn’t refuse to be with you if you reveal how many other bikes you’ve ridden.
6. When looking for a suitable bike, you can test ride several before you commit to one.
7. You can ride your friends’ bikes without being in trouble with your bike.
8. If you’re awake at 4am, your bike is always ready for some action.
9. You can read bike magazines and admire your friends’ bikes in the presence of your own.
10. If you’re afraid of other men stealing your bike, you can always chain it up.
11. You can have an intelligent conversation when out with your bike.
12. You can get a slim bike without worrying about it gaining weight.
13. When you rush off with your bike, it will arrive the same time as you.
14. You can be ready to go out with your bike in 10 minutes
15. When your bike has a problem, you can swear at it.
16. If you forget the day you got the bike, it won’t mind.
17. You can ignore your bike for a week if life gets too hectic.
18. When you go away without your bike, it doesn’t expect you to call it every day.
19. If you don’t like the look of parts of your bike, you can replace them.
20. If you get hurt by your bike, it’s generally your own fault.
21. You can have multiple bikes to satisfy different styles.
22. Your bike’s parents don’t ever come to visit.
23. Your bike doesn't what you where or whether you shower before going out with it.
24. You can do a casual ride on a bike.
25. You can have your bike custom made.
26. You can pick up an attractive bike with your pinky finger.
27. You don't have to pay for a new bike for 18 years if you forget to wear protection when riding your bike.
28. If your bike gets too old, you can get rid of it and get a new one without having to go through legal proceedings.

PS: Don't show this list to any single ladies - one of them will be my wife!

Isildur's picture

Awesome, absolutely love it!

ChopStiR's picture

lol, a good read.

mikethebike's picture

23. Your bike does not know the word foreplay and a quickie ride is still a good ride.

obmal's picture

you forgot
your bike won't divorce you, take the lions share of the assets and then refuse to work so as the claim the full 100% child support...
your new bike doesn't read what you post on nobmob about your narcissistic old bike?

fh6162's picture

it made me chuckle

bmar560's picture

love it Tristan !

pancakes's picture

#4 is comedy gold! (Allegedly...) Laughing out loud

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