Bitten by...

I accept the crown gratefully
Just be glad it was only a thigh

It was a definite bite - an intense burn
And immediately it was bright red with a pronounced bite area
Pikey of Arabia tried to tell me there were 2 puncture marks
But I know better than to take him seriously

I told you it looked bad!

Read an excerpt from a more smarterer literature book thingy,

"Two weeks ago on Friday I came home from work, and while enjoying a pre dinner alcoholic beverage, I noticed an irritating sting on the back of my leg. Upon investigating, I noticed what looked like an angry pimple and gave it no other thought.
The following day (Sat) I woke up to find my pimple looking and feeling a lot more angrier. I still dismissed it as only annoying and proceeded on my day, which proceeded to be interrupted by bouts of pain every time I sat down from my "pimple".
On Sunday morning, my pimple had grown to a hot lump 5cm square and I now knew I had something more. I went and played golf with a mate and came home feeling very sore with the lump looking like a mini pompeii on the back of my leg.
Now being convinced I had an insect bite, I reluctantly went to my local hospital emergency. After a 4 hour wait (that's another interesting story), I was called in to see a doctor. This doctor was obviously only out of Uni and compounded by his lack of the English language, the diagnosis was a potential insect bite, possibly spider, and because I was otherwise OK, a non venomous one. I was told not to worry about it (even though I was sure it was potentially serious), given anti biotics and sent home.
By Tuesday it was still sore and getting bigger. The lump was now 10cm square and at least 2-3 cm raised. It was obviously full of puss. I went to my GP at 2:40pm, and within 30 seconds had strict instructions to go straight to the hospital. Diagnosis - infected spider bite that needed surgery to be drained IMMEDIATELY!
With the docs letter in hand I proceeded once again to the hospital. Upon arriving (3pm), I was relieved to find the emergency ward empty, and was seeing a doctor with 30 mins. The doctor came in (she looked like my 15 year old daughter), looked at my lump, read my GP's letter, backed out of the room and ran away. 10 mins later a nurse came in and told me to go back into the waiting room, which had mysteriously now turned into a mayhem of vomiting, bleeding, crying rabble.
By 8pm (5 hours after arriving), I approached the triage desk and told the nurse that the "time to wait to see a doctor" sign was annoying me because it read 1hour, and I had been there for 5! She then promptly changed it to 8 hours!!! Finally at 8:30, I was transferred to my own private cubicle where I kept my self entertained by reading a chart of the human skeletoral system for another 2 hours. Dressed only in shorts and t-shirt, it was like an ice box in there, and repeated requests for a blanket were met with a smile. No blanket ever arrived. At 10:30 another non English speaking doctor came and saw me and in broken English told me that he had no idea what to do, even though he had the letter from my GP. Backing out of the room, he turned to leave when I grabbed him by the arm and told him he's not going anywhere as I knew he would not come back. He called for the nurse and asked her to get the resident surgeon, who arrived promptly with 2 orderlies ready for a fight. I think they thought I was going to cause trouble ( gee, if I had a gun, I would of gone on a murderous rampage). The surgeon looked at my lump and promptly said "that needs to be drained". Duh!
To cut a long story about our hospital system short, I now have a hole in my leg that looks like a bullet wound, and a home nurse comes every day to change the dressing. This has to go on until the hole has healed it self from the bottom up.

Oh, and it was not a spider bite, but an infected cyst. There ya go. life throws all sorts of interesting swing bowls (that's a cricketing term. I thought curve ball was too Americanised)."

So Andy, I told you I saw a prick in your sore or was it a prick looking at you're sore?

Pikey

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The Liver is Evil and must be punished
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that.

Was the spider brown in colour? What, you didn't see it, then it must have been reclusive.

Shit mate I hope not, have you seen what one of those buggers can do

Damn, it sounds like Liam really had it in for one of you guys

Edit PS Hey mate, its lucky what ever did that wasn't on the end of your bars hey!!
Warning kiddies, if you're squirmish don't hit that link. You have been warned

Let there be light

Think the moral of this story is to pop any nasty stuff on your leg yourself. Get that infected crap out of there and clean thoroughly. That or let it eat into yourself for days before some medical student gets to do the same. Durh!