Stupidity wins again!

You know with a name like Stuart I grew up with years of primary school teasing "stupid Stuart". I never let it get to me because, well hey, I knew I wasn't stupid. As I sit today though, some 30 odd years later, I'm now not so sure.

Let me set the scene. A last minute night ride last Wednesday saw me doing the Duck Holes / Centre Track combination for the first time. The road climb between the two nearly killed me. Not to be put off, my aim today was to do the total ride in a better time than we did the other night, which was apparently respectable. Above all, get to the top the hill in middle ring (32t)

Set off at a steady pace, dodging the three trees that had "fallen" across the track since we were there less than a week ago, me thinks someone doesn't like us here. Certainly didn't push myself, sitting between 140 and 160 bpm (yes I got it working) across the top and dropping to 120pbm on the downhill. Hit the bitumen and kept going at a steady pace. Started to climb, passing a roady using a compressor to put air in her tyres, thinking to myself she'll pass me by half way, out of the saddle 2, 7. Held this to the rangers gate, sat and dropped to 2,5 for a bit of a breather. As soon as it got steeper went back to 2, 6 and out of the saddle again. Was feeling not so bad so just kept going like this, not pushing hard just using the bike, gentle side to side sway, and my weight to work my way up. To my astonishment I made it to the top albeit in 2, 3, only a couple of "sit downs" all the rest of the way up. Thought shit I'll keep going and have a breather before I duck into Centre track. The road levels out here and for a small section actually feels like it drops a little. I sat up in the saddle, relaxed and took a swig from my hydropack, continuing to pedal.

This is where the fun, and the stupidty began. Some how I sucked the end off the hose. Still had the bite valve in my mouth but water was pissing out everywhere. Grabbed the bite valve from my mouth with my left hand, first mistake, stuck the forefinger of my left hand over the end of the hose, second mistake but atleast I wasn't getting a bath. Now just to stop. My right hand, which had been on the bars the whole time, instinctively "grabbed" the right brake, the front brake, "Holly Shit this going to hurt" You see "Stupid Stuart" dind't release my fork which I had locked out at the start of the climb, third but not last mistake.

All my weight is on the right side of the bars, the fork of course doesn't compress to take up the initial grab, weight pushes ride side of bar forward, wheel flips as close to 180 degrees as it can go. Head.... shoulders.... back..... arse and then of course finally, bike, all go OTB onto the most friendly surface of all, "country road" bitumen, you know the stuff that looks like about 5 - 10mm gravel just glued to the road surface with sticky black stuff, the stuff that makes a good impression of a cheese grater, and all at about 20km an hour.

Result, well picks are to come but basically shoulder graze down to just above the elbow, first point of contact. Right knee grazed and starting to swell, second point of contact, helmet with broken visor, compressed foam just above the temple, gouged pvc lid, sore head, third point of contact at about the same time as finger extended left hand, fourth point of contact and thankfully my last mistake. Two fingers that can't be bent, swelling between 2nd and 3rd knuckles on the back of the hand, bruising starting to show on the palm. Outside of the left knee, nice little handle bar impression where the bars came around and jammed it against the top tube which also bruised the inside of the left leg, grazing to the knee where I finally got out of my spd's and made my final point of contact with the cheese grater. Typically my body has done a great job of protecting the bike, not a mark on it, see the spd's are good for something, bringing the bike over for a nice soft landing on top of me.

A huge shout of thanks to the ranger that came around the corner about 5 mins later and stopped for about 5 mins to make sure I was Ok. An even bigger UP YOURS to the guy driving the rangey that sped past as the bike lay in the middle of the road and I struggled to get my pack off moments after I fell.

Amazing, 38 and still so much to learn.

Good news, the roady didn't pass me until I was getting back on the bike. I completed the ride with a left hand that wouldn't close at now a much slower pace, 1hr 00 02 ride time total, so actually acheived my goal, I think.

Am a little sore and sorry now, should imagine I will be alot more so tomorrow. Off now for a snooze in front of the idiot box and then to search for a new helmet. Thank you mister Netti, thats the second time you've saved me.