Dr Seuss Response to NPA

I saw this on the net and loved it. It's how Dr Seuss would respond to the National Parks Association (think Green Eggs and Ham).

Do you like my mountain-bike?
Do you like it? Do you, Mike?

I do not like your mountain-bike.
Leave it home! Go for a hike!
Too many gears! Enormous treads!
You rip my favorite trails to shreds!
You may not ride it here or there,
You may not ride it anywhere!

May I ride on single-track
with all my gear in camelbak?

You may not ride on single-track
with mountain bike or camelbak
And do not ride on fire-road,
It cannot take the overload.
You may not ride it here or there,
You may not ride it anywhere!

Where may I ride my new hardtail;
The one that's made by Cannondale?

You may not ride your new hardtail,
be it Trek or Cannondale.
You may not ride on single-track
With mountain bike or camelbak.
I do not like your mountain-bike.
Leave it home! Go for a hike!

Where may I ride my plush GT
With seven cogs and chainrings three?

You may not ride that plush GT,
in habitat that's human-free
It never will be allowed, you see
I want to save the woods! (for ME)

Stay off the trails for heaven's sakes,
Your knobby tires are killing snakes.
It's known to all biologists,
And famous herpetologists.
We do not like your mountain-bike!
Leave it home! Go for a hike!
You may not ride it here or there,
You may not ride it anywhere!

But, mikey, you don't understand
Enlightened people manage land.

So I will ride my mountain-bike,
I'll go on wheels. You take a hike!
And I will ride it here and there,
And I will ride it everywhere.

I will ride on single-track
With fully-loaded Camelbak.
And I will ride on fire-road,
It isn't such a heavy load!

I will ride that new hardtail;
the one that's made by Cannondale,
And I will ride my plush GT
(There is no place that's "human-free")

A little skill is all it takes
To keep from killing whippersnakes.
And we all know your PhD
Is NOT in herpetology.