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Relax people - I'm here...
You probably don't know me, you probably won't want to.
None the less I am here, and you will forever be changed. Rejoice people for I have arrived after many years of solitude, honing my technique, reflection, and study and I am ready to ride ride ride.
I now open the floor for comment, questions, introductions and flaming....
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consider yourself FLAMED !
I guess your the quiet shy type by the sounds of your auto-biography
welcome I think you will fit in round here.
dez_b
Mayhem who?
ahh..... yes indeed mayhem who????
mayhem me, mayhem you, mayhem red, mayhem blue.
if you're at Ourimbah on Sat you may find out... I am planning to be there with some mates. I noticed that some of you lot will be there - keep your eyes peeled - if you're very very lucky you may catch a flash of zaskar red as you gasp along the trail.
Where were you when we needed you Mayhem?
Glad you're finally on this site anyhow.
John.
Like an epidemic or even a pandemic, you can now consider me endemic and somewhat problematic*
*just add tequila.
wow...
But fortunately we don't carry swords (since that unfortunate incident where Gary confused his lycra legging with his scabbard and curtailed his jousting career...) so actions speak louder than words. Hence to live up to all this there'd better be photo and video evidence of carnage at Ourimbah this weekend ;-}
Matt.
(Who still hasn't learned to use those bl00dy smiley things and will soon forget how to program the video...)
But it has met its match in the QWERTY keyboard and the sniper like anonymity of the internet.
I would love to oblige with the material evidence of my feats, however I am on the witness protection program and therefore can have no images of myself published.
Keep your wherewithal with you and your eyes open on the trail my curious NoBMoBers for there will your desires be met, you shall see me riding, relentlessly pursuing perfection in form and velocity, caressing the trails of the peninsula, mystifying all those who witness my visage, which at best will be but a blur of red and black, the hum of rubber on dirt and the silence of soaring off every available lip.
Be alert, but not alarmed for I am here and everything will be vastly the same or different. Certainly though, things will happen.
I told you if you keep writing those Mills and Boon novels that the fantasy you indulge in, is going to take over your entire life. Just take the medication as prescribed.
John.
1. This guy must be the best rider ever
2. His hand is somewhere other than the handelbar grips
LOL, LOL, LOL.
Yes, go for the poll
2
in answer to the poll....
I strongly disagree with one.
I do believe that number two has some merit...it is true my hand is somewhere other than the handle bar grips - its up the skirt of the of the girl leaning against the bar, while the other one is firmly grasping a bottle of Jose Cuervo.
now play nice.
by chance.. ride a cannondale then?
negative. not my style. but I do drink lattes
Stu... is that you? This must be a gee up
My vote is 2
I spend way too much time here as it is without adopting another personality. Besides I think its safe to say that one thing I could never be accused of here is talking up my technical inability
Nice choice of words Stu
he definately rides a Spezialised (maybe even a pink one???)
Wow! you lot really know how to make someone feel welcome...
I was hoping to meet a few nice folks to ride with around the local area, and this thread was a way of trying you all out. Seems as though the majority of the people that have posted here are judgmental, hostile, and not very friendly.
I don't think I'll be joining you for a ride anytime soon. Shame really cause we all could have taught each other a few things and had some fun along the way.
Remember, it doesn't matter what kind of bike you ride, or how long you have been riding it, or even what color it is Caro (WTF? whats wrong with pink by the way, are you homophobic,or something?). It is about the feeling that you get from riding a bike on the dirt- doing something that you were not quite sure that you could, maybe getting a little out of your comfort zone, a little sideways, but getting through it with your body and ego intact, a few more skills and a feeling that is difficult to either describe or find elsewhere.
some of you really need to think about that, and maybe remember when you first started riding and why you did.
I am sure that most of you nobmobers are pretty cool folks, but I don't think that any group of people that condones or are are dominated by the types that want to cut down people that they haven't even met, especially because they think they might ride a certain bike or whatever, can't be the kind of folk that I enjoy riding with. Sorry, I'm not into "scene-ers".
And before you start insulting me or belittling me, I'll briefly give you a little run down of my experience with mountain biking, so you at least can better target your insults:
--first MTB in 1988 (yes Caro it was a specialized, stumpjumper to be exact)
--First Nationals race 1992.
--raced nationals regularly till 2001 - not going to brag about placings- don't need too.
--worked in bike shops for a while
--couriered for four years
--guided MTB in Australia, NZ and USA for a number of years.
--Run countless races and other events, including national races and state rounds.
--ran a Club for almost a decade.
--introduced hundreds of people to this wonderful activity
--had more bikes that I care to remember.
--basically lived, slept, eaten and breathed bike my entire life.
--most important - love riding as much today as I did the first time I built a ramp and jumped the kids that live across the road.
I am sure that there will be smart responses to this and people will have a good laugh. I also know that internally most of you will question why you act the way you do, and probably feel a little remorseful (it's ok you don't ever have to admit it to anyone). I think that you should really ask why you have this public forum. Or why you have to cut down someone new who was trying to inject a bit of fun into your site. You'll notice that I never insulted anyone (other than myself}, and before you say anything about my response to Cristine, i didn't pay out on Cannondales, I only mentioned that they aren't for me.
have fun NoBMobers, keep the rubber side down.
you need to read a little deeper into the conversations on this site my friend and maybe even take the time to come out and ride with us. Ive been riding as long as you and after a break for a few years decided to get back into this wonderfull sport a year ago. About six months ago after the boredom of riding alone had well and truly set in i stumbled upon nobmob. Im glad to say now that having known these people for half a year i can truly say that they are the friendliest and most accomodating bunch of riders ive ever ridden with. Any jibs about what brand of bike or colour are said completely with tongue in cheek. I suggest you come for a ride with us before you start judging us. Actually the concencus among us on the site was that you sounded like a funny bloke and we were looking forward to meeting you so dont show your sensitive side and ruin things! Its still not too late to come and join us,,, you know you want to? All the best, gazza.
Pink specialized, that sounds great Caro, you know you want one being your favorite colour and all
As Gazza said, come out on a ride with us mate, we might all tease each other a little, but I can say that every single person I have met through nobmob are great people and I have made some really good friendships.
So come on, see you on a ride soon.
Jeezzzzzz mate take the tongue that was firmly placed in cheek and grow a set , yes you do sound like a fun bloke so come for a ride with the nobs ya nob , you pretty much begged for a flamin in your first post so you got it , have a read back at what you have been typing .It was all meant to be FUNNY!!! if you really wanted a good and proper flamen post up in FARKIN where 14 year old brats with no pubic hair will give you a serve even for asking an intelegent question if thats what you want.
I am new to this corner of the net and to MTB but from what I have seen , read and riden with this group is fun be it a bit cheeky but are very welcoming to new members and are fun to ride with.
Most are how could I put this with out offending the mob "older" = friendly .
So take a big breath of air everyone play nice and welcome Mayhem to the fold
dez_b
p.s. I ride a cannondale Gemini DH and am proud of it even with the jibes I have read about craken fail I didn't take it personally, I think I will paint it pink and stick some Specialized stickers on it just to make you feel welcome
and no I dont feel quilty for flamming you , you asked for it mate.
You sure write a lot for someone who's never been out riding with us! If you wanted to feel the fibre of the group then might it not have been better to come out for a ride than to spend hours at the keyboard! And why bother with all that "hey look at me" bio stuff, just suck it up, come out for a ride and let your actions do the talking?
Matt,
(Who really hopes you're actually taking the p1ss with that last post and will reveal yourself as a master baiter and not a masterb&*^r ;-})
sentence of your initial post said it all really!
Everything you wrote did 'inject some fun' and was quite clever. It also seemed to be very toungue in cheek. So you could afford us the same luxury, even though we may not be as poetic and eloquent as your good self. If your last post isn't a gee up, then you really do need to get out and meet some of us. In my relatively short experience of the NOBMOB, belittling is something that we definately are not into.
Hi Mayhemic!
I don't really post much on a thread so here goes...
We'd be delighted to have you riding with us sometime, sounds like you have a lot that you want to share. I wouldn't worry about the tone of the posts after all how many people actually read a tongue in cheek post the way it was intended to be read by author? I know I tend to read posts with my own bias, we all have bias towards things and words on a screen never come out the same way in that a chat on a bike always does.
We have had some very funny posts lately - something about ministers of finance, N+1, Some of the posts have been incredible helpful for me - one was about how to train up for the 100km enduros. I guess some postings sometimes come out in a way the author just never ever intended. Have a look at the poll (thats pole to you stu
) I mistyped the word "poll" for "pole" and put in the phrase "I need a new pole" and somehow or other the thread went into some thoughts on pole dancing. I just realised that if i did not know the authors who wrote it I would be really p****** off at them. But I do know them and really don't mind have the p*** taken out of it its much harder for new people to realise this. Look at how much Gazza has had the P** taken out of him. and he still rides with us. onya gazza!
I have enjoyed the time i rode with these people
Come out for a ride with us.
Andrew
HA! ha ha hahaha!! haha haha ha ha!!! ha haha ha!!hehe he hehe!!!!! he he he he he!ha ha ha hahaha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
giggle giggle giggle...you lot are too much fun.
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I now pronounce this thread closed.
enuf said
You lot really shouldn't encourage him.
he IS funny - i want him to come on a ride with us!
he IS funny - i want him to come on a ride with us!
It's like shooting ducks in a pond, taking candy from a baby, and all that. It's really just too easy mate.
Finally someone that might begin to understand me, although from this brief little encounter I bow to you.
Well done, and to the rest of you, "Come in spinner"
Stuart M
Eloquent prose indeed from the Mayhemic one.
Has some similarities to a certain Mig Pilot for those who may be acquainted...?
Perhaps the connection can be made - certainly it has some potential.
He does indeed seem to be prickly for one who begged for a flaming and duly received it. Mind you, he threw out a farkin great baited hook and got some great bites!
Ride on friends... come in spinner indeed!!!
----------------------------------------------
if at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished.
Seriously. Would someone who makes the claims that Mayhemic makes, post in such a juvenile manner?
He is either someone who knows you all well enough to pull a fast one, or a complete tool who baited you using a very tried and trusted method of forum flame baiting.
Personally I think he/she is an insecure underachiever, whose only way of getting attention is to use humuor and self deprecation to get peoples attention. Once that's been done he/she then changes their tack to the offense with a long winded post to try and validate the previous load of crap they just carried on with.
As for the outragious claims he/she made in their last post.......... Yeah. In your Dreams.
...Feel free to have a cry about being flamed.