Lance Armstrong ;)

Adaptation from a classic joke, thought it may cause some amusement in an otherwise grim situation:

"A MAN DIED and was confronted by his Almighty Maker. He watched God take a clock off the shelf of a countless number of other clocks. The analogue clock was showing 12:10 and it had his name engraved in it.
“Not perfect, but pretty good,“ God said, and explained, “I have a clock for everyone. It is programmed to move forward 15 seconds each time the subject lies.“
The man stood in the room whilst God went into his office to get further records of the man.
While trying to work out all 40 occasions which hie apparently lied, he compared it to that of others.
He saw George Washington‘s. It was at exactly 12:00. He saw Obama's. Not much worse at 12:01. Tony Abbott‘s was at 9:00 of course and Julia Gillard‘s wasn't much better at 8:40.
As God returned from his office the guy could not help but notice a single clock in His office.
So the guy said, “I see there's a clock in your office. Is that the Pope‘s?“
And God replied, “No, it's Lance Armstrong‘s.“
“Lance Armstrong? WHY Lance Armstrong?!?!“
And God replied, “I use it as a fan!“"