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Tristania's picture

Joke: A priest, minister and rabbi on an MTB

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I burst out laughing when I thought this up the first time and couldn't resist sharing. First time most people will compare a water bottle to the family's jewels...

A Baptist minister, a Catholic priest and a rabbi walked into a bike shop at the same time to each buy themselves a nice new mountain bike (immediately you will realize this is a joke). Since they were all there together, they decide to take their bikes for their inaugural ride together on the local mountain bike track.

Tristania's picture

My Girlfriend Is a Mountain Biker

This was recommended for me on YouTube, and one of the few videos that was an accurate recommendation! This is hilarious, I suppose a humorous takeoff of what is usually the other way round (which of course happens to remind all single guys like me to choose carefully!)

Tristania's picture

Strava art

I'll get to the serious stuff soon as promised. But I can't resist sharing this.

The "proposal" one just cracks me up, particularly as she said yes (could you imagine if she didn't, then everyone would see that it had failed:

Tristania's picture

Proof that the Bible authors did MTB

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First post for 2015, and expect to hear a lot from me about the "serious" side of riding, but thought I'd kick off with some humour!

You may have been led to believe that mountain biking is only a recent pasttime, and the most recent books in the Bible were written almost 2000 years ago. So obviously the people in Biblical times could not experience the joy and excitement of cruising around the many, many dirt roads they had.

Tristania's picture

Why a bike is better than a woman

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So recently, I engaged in a discussion with a friend that indicated that he would have to spend some time with his girlfriend in the coming days as I needed to get out on my bike after a long study period. This resulted in the conversation inevitably turned to "You should get a girlfriend, mate." Seeing as a good portion of other 20yos are with girls, it was worth a good session to consider whether I should give up cycling and find one, but I discovered 28 reasons why this shouldn't be the case. Enjoy (and don't take it too seriously)!

SCAMTB's picture


A conversation between my daughter and I whilst riding to school this morning;

"Ugh, dad my back's sore!"
"Well yesterday I was standing on that bar between the seat and the handlebars and my brakes locked up and I came down and the seat hit me in the back" ;*(
"Wow! I've tumbled down mountainsides, shoulder-barged trees, flipped over handlebars and smacked my head into low branches but I've NEVER hurt myself like THAT before!"
"hmmm, it's a new one."

Tristania's picture

Lance Armstrong ;)

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Adaptation from a classic joke, thought it may cause some amusement in an otherwise grim situation:

"A MAN DIED and was confronted by his Almighty Maker. He watched God take a clock off the shelf of a countless number of other clocks. The analogue clock was showing 12:10 and it had his name engraved in it.
“Not perfect, but pretty good,“ God said, and explained, “I have a clock for everyone. It is programmed to move forward 15 seconds each time the subject lies.“
The man stood in the room whilst God went into his office to get further records of the man.

cccritter7's picture

The Chute can be Dangerous!

NB: Originally posted elsewhere on the Global Riders Network and appears via syndication.

My buddy did the chute 2 times and then on his third go this happened!

hathill's picture

Back In The Saddle - Andersons + Oaks (One Way)

NB: Originally posted elsewhere on the Global Riders Network and appears via syndication.
Saturday, 9 October, 2010 - 07:40
Ride Database Entry: 
Ride Database Entry: 
The Oaks
Meeting Point: 

Meet at Glenbrook Train Station to catch the train up to Wentworth Falls. (I'll meet you all at the station 'cause I live at Wentworth Falls)


Back in the saddle ride after messy divorce with my gallbladder!
Train leaves Glenbrook at 6:53am arriving 7:40am at Wenty Falls. Ride from there to Woodford via Andersons Fire Trail and depending on how keen everyone is, continue down to Glenbrook via the Oaks and single track or bail out at Woodford.

Best Mountain Bike